All of us have experienced it at one time or another. We come home from a first date,  sure that we've just spent the first night of the rest of our lives with our true soul mate. Mr or Miss Destiny. The One. And then, we never hear from them again.

As we sit by the phone, waiting for that second date call (or call-back) we first begin to doubt the efficiency of the phone company. Then we start to wonder if Mr./Miss Right had to suddenly leave the country in the middle of the night, without a chance to call. Then, realization hits. You're not going to hear from them, and you wonder how you could have had such a magical experience, while they, clearly, were unimpressed.

Fortunately, there are some clues to help you figure out if your first date is really a heart-to-heart connection, or a just one-sided illusion. Next time you're on a first date, keep an eye out for these telltale signals:

Give 'em a Body Check

When to people are really making a connection, their bodies line up (toe to toe, heart to heart, face to face) and they tend to mimic each other's gestures and voice levels. Which means if your date is soft-spoken and you're a shake-the-walls loudmouth, you'll both instinctively feel that something is a bit off-kilter.

Signs your date is going well: Watch to see if you find your date is mirroring your gestures, a strong indicator that the date is on-track. Another positive signal is if your date is leaning towards you as you speak. Other good signs to watch for including nodding and tilting the head to the side as you are speaking, an indicator your date is interested in what you have to say.

Danger sign: If your date is crossing his or her arms while you're speaking, it is generally a sign of resistance or anger.

Flirting or Faking?

When a date is going well, there's bound to be a lot of flirting going on from both sides of the table. Key signs your date is interested include smiling, extended eye contact and biting or licking the lip. (theirs, not yours...) Another key signal for both sexes is low-level non-sexual touching such as a brush of the elbow, arm or leg.

Signs your date is going well: Preening or grooming behavior (such as smoothing down clothes, reapplying lipstick, running a hand over the hair) is a clear sign someone is interested. For women, the classic flirting move is the crossing or uncrossing of the legs, while men tend to stand a little broader when they're flirting and throw their shoulders back.

Danger sign: Keep an eye out for flirting that isn't accompanied by other "I like you" behaviors -- this can indicate a purely sexual, not romantic interest.

Two-step on the Doorstep

Another key indicator of a successful (or bad, bad, bad) first date is drop-off behavior when the date is finished. Does your date see you into your front door, or drop you off at the curb and speed off into the night before you have a chance to say, "Thanks for the linguine" and find your keys? Another positive sign is the goodnight kiss that leaves you wanting more, but ends mutually on the doorstep. (A signal you're both willing to save a little something for date number two.)

Signs the date has gone well: When your date makes a specific suggestion for another date, (such as, what are you doing next Tuesday?) rather than a generic "I'll call you" it's a positive signal that they are definitely interested in seeing you again. Other encouraging signs include lingering after the date is clearly over (you're in your doorway, goodnight kisses have been exchanged and he's still hanging around on the porch...)

Danger sign: Possibly the worst first date doorstep signal is when one person leans in for the goodnight smooch, and the other sticks out their hand for a handshake. A less-obvious sign is a quick kiss or hug, followed by a pat on the back (which can indicate discomfort with the embrace.)

Never love a man or woman more than you love yourself.

• You must have attitude. Attitude is everything. Think of yourself as compelling, irresistible, and captivating because that's what you are!
  
  
• Your attitude about yourself and how you expect others to treat you comes through in everything you do.
  
  
• Know and play to your assets, know and downplay your deficits.
  
  
• Men troll and hunt for women. Women attract and magnetize men.
  
  
• For women: You only love the men who love you. It is your job to attract lots of men and then choose from the ones you have attracted.
  
  
• In relationships, men want women to act like women, so they can act like men.
  
  
• For men: You are a hero. Accept nothing less from a woman than being "her hero."
  
  
• In dating, know what you want and what the other person wants. Make sure you are both going in the same direction.
  
  
• The secret to a relationship is: know what each player wants and then give it to them. Men want to be admired and respected. Women want to be cherished and adored, because that makes them feel safe. Good relationships are the result of giving all the players what they want.
  
  
• Feelings are important.  Men want to feel they are winning in a relationship. Women want to feel safe.
  
  
• Don't rely on a make-over to find happiness. Give up the thought "I love you, you're perfect, now change." Accept "as is" the person you're in the relationship with.
  
  
• Keep your heart open. For those who think war is hell, they should try dating. In dating, your heart may get hurt, but as long as it's open, there is room to let someone in. Love has no place to go when a heart is closed down.
  
  
• Go on every new date and into every new relationship with the attitude that this could be "the one." As long as you think about past relationships, that's how all your relationships will be.
   

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