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Dr K
There's a doctor in Jalan Ipoh who does
it for us trans people. FTM or MTF. She was introduced to me by a fellow
FTM. Dr K. It's great that there is someone who would do it for us.
But she's weird. She
asked me a few questions ..."you must be really confused" and took
furtive glances at my chest. I tried to ignore her surreptitious stares.
She continued: "But
it's ok, we have alot of these people. We don't know what the cause is,
it must be something in the brain, we don't know yet."
She is such a
caricature. I
asked her what the side effects of the testosterone injections. She
paused and said, well, your voice will deepen, you will grow some facial
hairs... but since you want those to happen, then, they're not side
effects.
So, what will the hormones do? I mean will I have liver problems?
"No, no, but you know testosterone, they
are male hormones, and men are animals! You will be more aggressive!"
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Leap of Faith
I've always felt "different." I
remember feeling it at the age of 6, like I don't belong. I was already
a transvestite at that age. I remember fighting with my mom because I
didn't want to wear a dress to school. I wanted
28 years later, and I've decided to do
something. Feminism serves its purpose and I am grateful. It helped me
to come to terms with my attraction to girls. But it also sidetracked
me.
I took my first T-jab today. It costs
me RM65 (less than GDP10) per jab, on my butt, and instantly I felt
something .. swirling in my body/head? can't pintpoint, but I think my
heart opened, or increase in heartbeat. It is a small vial, Sustanon,
anabolic steroids. 250mg. You can get generics smuggled from Pakistan
for half the price, but she said it's better to get the original at
least for first timers... more effective. One jab every three
weeks...Man.. it's doing it again, must be them hormones. Likeaa
heat inside moving outwards. I think I will turn into a Hulk.
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