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Why We Flirt
Birds do it. Bees do it. In their way,
even educated fleas do it. They flirt. Think of flirting as a silent but very
visual language that creatures great and small use to indicate their interest in
a particular member of the opposite/same sex. We flirt to announce attraction and to
signal availability. It is a universal language spoken by all animals as well as
humans, a kind of self-promotion advertising our fitness for a relationship and,
sooner or later, for mating.
Scientists now know that we flirt by
trying out our sexual sundries without having to go all the way with every
potential prospect ¡ª it's pretty much risk-free. What's more, flirtation kicks
in automatically, at the instant of attraction, driven by primitive, emotionally
reactive parts of the brain.
While flirting can be viewed as
important business with serious goals in mind,it's also just plain fun. Men and
women do it regardless of where it may lead because it's pleasurable and erotic
in its own right.
Flirting Tips
|
Smile |
It is
contagious. It will make you so much more approachable. A smile lights up
your face and draws people to you. You will be a people magnet. Try it! |
|
Compliment |
Compliment
your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise.
The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed them. Remember,
your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When you receive a
compliment the best response is merely, Thank you! |
|
Eye Contact |
Make
eye contact, but please look your partner in the eye gently (about 2-4
seconds) and then glance away. Don't stare - it's a TURN OFF! |
| Listen |
You
have a pair of ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much
as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn
to you. Everyone loves to be heard. |
| Make
the 1st Move |
Move
closer to the person you want to meet. Say hello! |
| Be
the Host |
Change
your behavior from the role of the guest to the host. You are not the
passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee. |
| Use
Props |
Never
leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters. They
encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to
you. Great props include: dogs, cats, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent,
an interesting object, hats or an interesting book or magazine. |
| Have
Fun |
Be
playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability. |
| Start
a Conversation |
The
best opening line is hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question,
ask for help, state an opinion. |
| Flirting
is an Attitude |
A
good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic
and positive, it works! |
Don'ts
of Flirting
| Don't
Depend on Others to Make Things Happen |
If
you could depend on them to get things started, you wouldn't need to
flirt. |
| Don't
Tease |
Offering
others more than you intend to give always backfires. |
| Don't
Cling |
Don't
monopolize one person all night long. Wait for her/him to indicate her/his
desire to continue being with you |
| Don't
Dwell on Flirting |
Do
it and forget it. Keep your playful tone at all times. |
| Don't
fidget |
It's
annoying. You are fidgeting when you let your nervous tension out in
unintentional ways. You are not fidgeting if you are tapping your fingers
to your favourite music. You are fidgeting if you tap them throughout a
supposedly flirtatious conversation. |
Find
Out if you're Ready to Flirt
Because flirting is as much an attitude
as it is a set of actions, how you think about
it is as important as how you do
it. You need delicacy, patience and confidence.
Keep reminding yourself that by
flirting, you are doing someone a favour, since you
are opening the lines of
communications. And if you really need a boost, remember
that everyone fails occasionally.
|
Ready
to Flirt |
|
Not
Ready to Flirt |
| You
regularly scent your room with potpourri. |
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When
guests are expected, you enlist the aid of a two year old air freshener |
| On
vacations, you hope to meet a new love. |
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You'd
like to meet a new love before your trip, so you can save the cost of the
single supplement. |
| At the
supermarket, you are friendly and talkative. |
|
At
the supermarket, you blame the cashier for the high prices. |
| You just
got a promotion or raise and want to celebrate. |
|
You
lost your job and want to drown your troubles. |
| An old
love has ended and you know you'll survive. |
|
An
old love has ended, and you'd like another opinion about what went wrong
with the affair. |
| At
self-help seminars, you have the most fun at the breaks talking to people. |
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At
self-help seminars, you remark that the group is a brunch of losers and
often request a refund. |
| You let
other people read your magazine when you finish. |
|
You
let others read your magazines, waiting until they are six months old
before ripping off your address labels and giving them away. |
| You
are not emotionally starved. |
|
You
are emotionally starved but hide it by being self-contained or by
discussing the decay in social values. |
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