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Stages of Love by Ruth D.
Kerce
What are the stages of love? Love
develops between two partners in several different levels.
For love to endure, each level is important.
Let's break it down into five stages:
(1) attraction
(2) romance
(3)
passion
(4) intimacy
(5) commitment.
ATTRACTION - a positive response to a person beyond
friendship. This can further be broken down into two areas: (a) physical
attraction & (b) emotional attraction.
a. Physical Attraction - happens
when your body reacts to another person. Heart rate increases; temperature
rises, palms get sweaty; stomach flutters; throat tightens; etc. This is
the most superficial of "loves" on one level, but one of the
most powerful on another. It represents the first contact.
b. Emotional Attraction - develops
next if the circumstances are right. After being drawn to a person
physically, you then begin to converse. If you find you have things in
common -- hobbies, ideologies, career, education, or some other common
ground -- then an emotional attraction starts to form. An emotional
attraction can also occur even when a physical attraction does not. And in
this case, the bond may even be stronger between the two who connect,
since no preconceived notions based on physical appearance has occurred.
ROMANCE -
an act of trying to influence or gain favor of another by lavishing
attention or gifts upon them. There are two type of romance:
(a) selfish
romance & (b) selfless romance.
Selfish Romance
| occurs when you do romantic acts solely for the purpose of
gaining something for yourself |
| like to get gifts to impress someone else, or even simply
for sexual favors whether your partner is interested or not |
Selfless Romance
| occurs when you do
romantic for the enjoyment and pleasure of your partner. You
receive your enjoyment and pleasure through their hapiness |
PASSION - a desire
for another person, which has grown to an intensity that can't be ignored.
This is often where an emotional relationship turns into a physical
relationship. The passion stage is very important. It's a plateau.
From here, the relationship will fork into two roads, and the couple
must decide which path to take. The relationship will either burn itself
out or will move onto the next stage.
INTIMACY - a close association with another person of the
deepest nature. You share you thoughts, your feelings, your dreams. In
true intimacy, there is nothing that you cannot tell this person (though
we often hesitate because of our own unfounded fears).
Intimacy is not total in one swoop. It is a developing process, which
never ends. If you can't establish intimacy with your partner, your
relationship may work for a while, but is unlikely to endure throughout
the years.
COMMITMENT - a pledge to remain true to your mate throughout good
and bad times. Commitment is easy when times are good. Commitment can be
extremely difficult when times are bad. Learn to ride out the bad times.
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