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3-0 Knockout lines
"If you become a man, why would I date
you? I might as well start going out with men."
--lesbian girlfriend
"Why don't you go to the gym and workout instead of spending RM65 a
month on the injections?"
-- fellow feminist friend.
"I won't work with you if you become a man."
--best buddy who is also a feminist.
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Bisexual FTM
I changed my identity,
and I wonder who would send me hearts. When I was butch and lesbian,
femmes would drop me hearts, say hi sexy. Now, I wonder if they still
would, or men might be more interested now. What kind of men, I wonder.
The more male I am,
the more open I am to being sexual with men. Strange, in a counter
intuitive sort of way. But why? only if you link sexuality with gender,
would you think it strange.
Perhaps it is just
plain horniness from the T's that I would do anything that moves.
Perhaps, now I am not as hard on men. Men are not bad, they're just
privileged. The more I see myself as man, the less the "other" they are
to me.
I did a health check.
My cholesterol is a little high, and my liver globulin is a little low.
Is it the T? I hear that the liver has to work harder processing
testosterone. Maybe it's that. Lower globulin level has something to do
with low antibodies and lowered immunity.
I should stop
drinking. That's the worse thing you can do to your liver. But today is
my friend's birthday, and we are going to a Karaoke. How will I not
drink and sing? She's coming. She'll sing with her beautiful, quiet
voice. I love her and hate her. I want her body. I can't find her heart.
She's all brain. A compulsive thinker. Stop. Stop thinking.
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