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The
up's' and down's'
My boyfriend and me
stayed in Brickfields in a very dirty area. I do not mind. I was happy.
I am reveling in KL city¡¯s charm. I can come out full time and be with
the boy I love. But the happiness did not last long. I wanted to leave
him after he started to be very abusive towards me. But before I can go
quietly he chased me out of our place. I was left with very little money
and very little options.
So I called a number
in which my sisters in Ipoh left me before I came down. She said this
Kak could help me if I am in trouble down here. Kak introduced me to
work in a massage parlour. But after a few weeks, I was asked to do some
additional services in relations to sex. I did not want to do it, so a
lot of the customers were not pleased with me. I was very depressed then
so I turned to gambling as a hobby. But I ended up losing and losing a
lot of money until I was saddled with debt ten digits long.
One of my customers
from the Philippines came to my aid. He is a businessman and had admired
me for long and have asked me repeatedly to be his girlfriend. After
being with a couple of men in disastrous relationships, I really am in
no mood for another relationship. But in desperation I decided to look
for his help. And help me he did. He not only settled my gambling debts,
he gave me everything. In a couple of weeks, he rented a place for me to
stay in Kelana Jaya, and slowly furnished the apartment and asked me to
leave my job before I get hurt.
He was one of the
most romantic gentlemen anyone can ever imagine to be with. After moving
to Kajang with him, he took me regularly to Mines Resort and Bandar
Sunway for fun. We even rode in a boat across Mines¡¯ lake at one night
together, and I deep kissed a man for the first time. I was terribly in
love and the world is my playground. He gave me so much cash I do not
have to worry about anything. My wardrobe is full of the clothes I can
wear for any occasion and shoes to fit too. |
The
first encounter with Estrogen
I met a lot of people at the higher
end of society, and getting all the attention during events was a
blessing. I felt accepted, and admired and loved. I was like a princess
and living out a fairy tale, especially at one instance like when I
walked on the carpet of the golden coloured, beautiful royal ballroom at
the Palace Of The Golden Horses Hotel. I finally passed as a female and
this was the way to live. Later he offered me to work in his office in
Shah Alam as his personal assistant. And after my breasts went to C for
the first time in my life, I was complete. And as pride goes, I was
invincible.
But all in a sudden things changed.
He started spending less and less time with me. I was introduced to his
acquaintances as different personal identities ranging from his fiancee
to his cousin sister. I also felt he was trying to push me to sleep with
other men. I can even smell another woman on my own bed sheets. I
questioned him on everything, but all I got was more denials and deceit.
The last straw came when I woke up all alone one day to find 5 of his
friends inside the house. That afternoon I was completely humiliated,
violated and torn apart. It was then I knew my fairy tale was tragically
over.
I went crazy and berserk. I could
not take it. I scoured across my room for my belongings and cash. I know
I must get myself away from this man, so I took a cab all the way KL. I
cut all my crowning glory away in the washroom there and bought some
male attire and wore them with a cap. I went back to Ipoh that evening
and stayed in Syuen Hotel for a month. Later, I went up to Chiang Mai to
reduce my breasts. I also damaged my face until it became close to just
like how it was before I began my hormone pills; dry, scarred like the
face of the moon. It hurts. I do not want to be a girl anymore.
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