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Question:	I¡¯m 23 yrs old boy n student of final year electrical engg. at U.E.T. Peshawar. I¡¯m writing to you with great courage and hope u will help me out. My first problem is that I ¡®m afraid of meeting people and hesitant in making new friends. I think that they wont like my company. Don¡¯t tell me that it¡¯s my own thinking but I have felt the same thing many times. When I meet them, I forget how to talk to them in a much frank manner and make them enjoy my company coz like every normal boy I want my social life to be great but I can¡¯t help it out Secondly, I have a friend ¡°Ky¡±. When he visits my house, he seems to be very good friend. But at university, in the presence of his other friends, he talks more to them and hangs out with them. I want his true friendship. I don¡¯t want to own him but I want him to be loyal to me and have mutual respect in our relationship. I am in deep state of inferiority complex. Plz help me as after one year my professional life is going to start and I don¡¯t want to enter that phase of my life with this feeling. M.S. ( Shan-e-Hassan)
Answer :	Shan-e-Eassan, you are right to say it is not in your thinking,rather I would say it is in your feelings. You know your problem directly,that is, you are in a deep state of inferiority complex. You can start doing something about it by catching up with reading,which is a powerful tool for communication. Reading about subjects ranging from news to the latest movies can help you to be more opinionated and have knowledge in variety of issues when you are in discussion with friends. Go and exercise; it helps to sweat out the harmful toxins in your body leaving you feeling fresh, healthy and confident when dealing with people. Also smile more often; it is amazing how a smile can warm up the most difficult ices to break when relating to people. Do not demand a friendship, rather built it. Friendship takes both ways and will take time to grow, so learn to let the beautiful side of you shine through and soon you would win friends easily. Be positive and love who you are and the person you can be. Still, remember that imposing personalities often end up alone. Be cool and attractive. The best friend anyone could have, is also usually the best listener.

Question	My new housemate, a very young gay guy moved in with us (the other housemates) about two months ago. From the very start, we hit it off marvelously and I was very flattered that such a young good looking guy wanted to be my friend. I'm 45 and he's 23... We started going everywhere together and I ended up handling his laundry and tending to his car when he had to make business trips outstation.. One night we slept together in the same bed and in the middle of the night I acted on impulse and started to grope him.. At first he was passive about it but when I went a little further, he stopped me..It was a very polite way of telling me no, I guess... but then a few days later he started telling me that he was single and on the lookout. I started gettting all these mixed signals from him.. I couldn't put my finger on it... one minute he was saying no but the next he was implying a come on... I am terribly attracted to him.. Then one day a friend of his came over from Penang on the understanding that he wanted to go clubbing in KL... They never did go out clubbing but ended up shacked up in his room.... I don't know what happened but I kept trying to convince myself that it was all really innocent and that maybe they both were tired and decided not to go out. The next morning he had to head for Penang on business and his friend followed him back... I as usual later took out his laundry and I was so stunned to find semen stains on his clothes...I was devastated and I started breaking down. I confronted him about it and he flat out denied anything happened. A few days ago I made the decision to talk it out with him. I told him how I felt about him and I poured my heart out to him, about my past failures in relationships.. he listened quietly and then he said that he had no such feelings for me.. I was almost hysterical but managed to hold back enough for me to tell him that maybe it would be better for me to move out as his presence was just agony for me. He refused to let me leave and I had to explain how painful it was for me to be so close by to him and not be able to be intimate with him. Finally he relented and agreed that maybe it was for the best. Last night, that friend of his turned up again and this time I was hysterical... here I was just coming to terms with his rejection of me and then he was pushing my nose into it by letting this guy stay with us....I think i'm crazy arien
Answer	Arien, you are still uncertain about yourself and unsure what your next step would be. But if there is one thing you can be sure about, is that he obviously loves the other boy more than you. Perhaps moving out would be the best option so that you would not end up with more scars. A change of environment will do you good. I would not be able to understand the impact this rejection will have on you, but I am sure in time you would find someone new who would love you and cherish you with the love you can give to him. It would not be easy, judging by the way you write he really means a lot to you. But love knows when to let go, sometimes letting go of the hurt and move on would bring you to another window of opportunity of another love that is built on the essences which you truly believe in. Close this chapter and start a new beginning in your life, and believe me the seeds of your commitment and understanding will bring fruits of love soon.