• without a reason
• cancerian
• 9 months separation
• Problem in work
• Parents Object to Profession
• Out to Bi
• Decade Apart
• Of Cross-Dressing & Marriage
• Sex-Crazed
• Flirt
• Not-Wanting-To-Hide
• Un-social Life

• Sex ... Before & After
• Married Affair
• Love Mark
• Can't Fall in Love
• Falling Back in Love
• Doubts
• Out & Hurt
• Free-time Lover
• Turning Gay?
• Tormented in Bed
• Life's Phase
• Complex 3
• Jealousy
• Girl or Boy?

dear Teazel,

why all girlzz like to break wif butches without any reasonable answer
 

brig

TEAZEL tells...

everything is done with a reason. Girls expect you to know the reason or atleast find out yourself. Be as sensitive as them.

how reasonable an answer can be, it depends which angle you are looking at, it may be a fact to her but 'unfair statement' to you.

dear Teazel,

im have strong feelings for another cancerian but he just broke up with someone who hurt him badly. how should i approach this guy,and get him to like me?

 

TEAZEL tells...

A person who just broke off is normally very weak. If you want to take this opportunity, i would say its not a fair game. But decision is yours.

Personally i feel that sincerity leads you to the result you want.

dear Teazel,

My girlfriend and I have been going out for about 9 months. She is my first girlfriend and my first serious relationship with someone. I will be traveling with my mother (who doesn't approve of my relationship) practically halfway across the world from the states to Japan or at least it feels that far. I don't want to leave but I pretty much won't have a choice in the end, I will be gone for 1 year or 2 at the most. My girlfriend says that she loves me and would wait for me but I want to be happy with me or someone else, although I don't like that last prospect, I know she won't cheat on me even if it comes down to me moving. We hardly see each other as it is because of my mother so we don't necessarily take each other for granted and thankgul for everytime we see each other. What should I do? Break up with her just because of the distance or do I become content with writing and short telephone conversations? I'm confused. Please help...
 

I am sad to hear your temporary separation with you girl friend. Since you have no choice but follow your mom for travel, but that doesnt mean you have to break off with your girl friend. Tell your partner, this is just temporary. Both of you  still can contact each other via email, online chat or phone conversation. I am sure the feelings and heart is there. If she can wait for you and you are willing to commit yourself in this relationship, why not? On the other side, spend time with you mom. Let her understand you more, build her trust in you. She might see these in a different opinion later stage.

Me

TEAZEL Tells...

my friend.....there are so many plu around nowadays. You cant lock yourself. plu wont drop infront of you. Open up your life, go and get to know them. there are internet to help if you have difficulties mixing with stranger. do find info from the link & directory page. there are plu groups, plu chat, plu classified etc..
regarding the friends who do not accept as you what are, let them be. You cant force them, neither they can control you! your life is yours! 
 

Me

TEAZEL Tells...

First of all, am sorry to hear your dilemma. As for the family business, are you the only child in the family? Can your siblings help out? The issue of overseas studies, i am sure other countries out there have plu too. Nowadays we are so internet ready, you can always get to know friends before you go over or keep in touch your friends over here. I believe you will have more freedom to know plu friends while you are in the oversea. grab the opportunity to study while you have the chance. let the working issue be later stage. gain your knowledge first. everybody needs that for future.....

I'm bisexual, how do I break it to my parents?

Ash

You can hint, for example ask them what's their opinion about bisexuality. If they're positive about it, then you can slowly let your preference be known to them. If they're negative about it, you should refrain from discussing further until, maybe, when more positive reflections on bisexuality are made known, and you observe their perspectives.  

I've been with this butch for 5 months. She's my first real female lover. I love her a lot. Our relationship has always been on a rocky ground since things started. We always fight. There're no solutions because every time she'd end the argument by saying, 'Yeah, it's all my fault,' and left.

I don't like this. I think when problems arise, we should find a solution. Not just leave it as it is. Every time we fight, she makes it to be my fault. No matter what it is.

How do I make her to talk about our problems and solve them instead of leaving it just like that. I'm 19 and she's 29. Shouldn't she be the more rational and reasonable and mature one?

Please help.

Stucked in Dawning Sky

First, age doesn't determine one's rationalism, reasonable-ness as well as maturity.

Second, there's a good way to communicate. Pour your heart's contents out through writing. Write your loved one, telling her exactly how you feel between you & her. You can do so chronologically. Don't bitch in your writing. Do so tactfully. Don't worry about grammar, alignment & what-have-you. Do remind her how much she still means to you. Don't generalize. Do be specific.

Through writing, you can 'talk' to your partner without starting an argument. You can also suggest her to reply in writing. Be open about what's she going to say in reply. Remember your objective is to better your relationship, not to defend your position.

What should I do as I love her dearly?

sh

Are you saying you would like to go through sex-reassignment surgery or you are merely going to cross-dress?

If you're opting for the former, I would suggest you seek professional consultation before anything else. If you opt for the latter, then I would suggest you consider which is more important: your love for your wife or your love to cross-dress.

Sex-Crazed

There's nothing abnormal about having a huge sexual appetite. Sex does facilitate relationship. Further, you are in a long distance relationship, hence your urge to connect could be further accentuated by love-making.

Bear in mind, menstruating or not, safe sex is the way to go.

We have been together for 2 years already. The problem is she likes to flirt. Her flirting is fine with me but she over does it.

She is in the relationship with me and another person. She has been wanting to leave me. Her reason was she doesn't want to hurt me anymore.

She could spend nights over at the other lover's place, comes back to me with love marks all over her!

I love her too much to let her go. She has asked to do what she does i.e. flirt around. I just can't do it.

I'm confused and hurt. I really love her. Tell me what must I do?

Cynn

So you just can't flirt, then you don't have to.

All this while, you would have allowed her to master the skills to flirt. You could have allowed her to take you for granted.

You have to take responsibility of your life. Why subject yourself to emotional pain?

Let go, let live. Believe me, time does heal. When your time come, you will definitely find one girl who would appreciate you more than you would imagine.

I've always known I am gay, but am also been too afraid to come out. I am sure I am not just lustful 'at that age' or confused.

I have fallen for a couple of guys (not sure if they're PLU or not). Sadly, I was  afraid of the consequences of what could happen if I made a move by exposing my true nature.

Many time I wanted to say, "I am gay" to at least one friend. When the time comes, I chickened out. I am afraid of losing my friends if they were to know about my sexual orientation.

What should I do to have my friends still accept me just the way I am.

Not-Wanting-To-Hide

Friends are people who accept you, support you, love you ... no matter who you were, who you are, and who you will become. Friends are people who will be truthful, even if the truth hurts.

Therefore, drop subtle hints, such as discuss a gay-themed movie, tv show, gay celebrity, etc. Observe their reactions. Chances are they will be indifferent toward the sexual orientation issue. Then slowly but surely tell them about you. If they value you, they will accept you. If not, then you should look for better, supportive friends. Treat it as a life's lesson. Move on. You will find friends out there to accept you, support you, and love you for who you are. 

I've been with my boyfriend for close to 4 years. Everything is wonderful except that we dislike each other's friends. There's no doubt we are possessive of each other, but our main peeve with being in contact with these friends is that they are closely linked to our ex-partners, and may be knowingly or unknowingly aiding in both our ex¡¯s attempts to get back with us. To protect our relationship, we isolated ourselves from these friends and even the gay scene. This arrangement has worked well so far, but there were times when I felt my more sociable and restless partner misses the action and wishes to go clubbing, or hang out with his gang again.

Did we do the right thing? We have tried lowering down the protective shield, but almost always, insecurities will get the better of us.     

Recluse

Indeed insecurities do the unthinkable to us. However, avoiding the social realm does not guarantee that you and yours will feel secured indefinitely. Most importantly, it is how both of you perceive your relationship to be, or want to be.

Temporary consensus does not promise eternal compliance. If he's a social butterfly, and he's being kept in his little cocoon for too long, he will one day outgrow it, and fly away all together.

Therefore go out, mix about, but re-new your love vow for each other more frequent than before. That way your relationship is renewed and refreshed each time you guys socialized.

One day she asked me whether can we be together. Without much consideration, I accepted her 'proposal.' But we only lasted for 3 days. I decided to call things off because I felt that I have cheated on my boyfriend. Soon my boyfriend found out. I clarified things. He and I are still good. The butch and I are friends.  

Somehow, sometimes I wonder whether I have made the right choice? I still often think of how she treated me. Maybe she's just a passerby who once touched my heart.

Gill

Often we click better with the same-sex. Probably it's hormones. Probably it's the bond. Probably it's timing. 

Often we made life's decisions and we pondered. It's only human. Nonetheless, the right decision should make you most in control of yourself (although not necessary happy). 

It's good that you can regard people who came into and went away in your life as a phase. You are strong-willed. There will be more decisions that you will make, which you will somehow sometimes wonder. As long as you are expose to people who will touch your heart one way or another, you will always have life's decisions to make. 

I feel like I'm in between a rock and a hard place. I have been seeing my ex that I had previously dated for 2.5 years, and things have been going very well. We really enjoy each others company and respect each other in ways we didn't before. 

Problem is I have been going out with another guy that I've known since high school, and we've been having a blast too. 

I feel happy when I am with both of them, and feel attracted to both of them. However, I realize I can't have both. I don't know how to decide who would be better for me, or if I should just keep things the way they are and see what happens.

Three Bugs in a Rug

Indeed 3 is never the best of company. A 3-person relationship only happens fictitiously, no matter what the experts said. One day you have to give someone up. That someone could be you, even. 

You said you are attracted to both of them. But are you in love with any of them? 

During your happy moments, you could be on cloud 9, thus could have forgotten that you might have taken your joy providers' feelings for a ride. Just imagine how they'd thought of you, if they were to find out. Therefore, to make the right decision at the right moment is good to set yourself credible in their eyes. 

I have known my sweetie for more than six years and we have been staying together for three. 

My problem is that she is so jealous with everything. I can't even talk on the phone with my mom !!! 

She is really annoying...but i do love her so much. Please tell me how to deal with this situation.

Crow

Have you ever seen that "Love is ..." posters? Well, love is about everything including accepting. 

You have been going out for 6 years, you should have known her inside out. Throughout the years, you could have let her be without telling her how annoyed you have gotten over her jealous being. It's never too late to tell. She might not know how you feel all this while. Assure her that she is the only one, and no one else is more important in your life. 

Distressed Male

Having a 3rd wheel in a relationship complicates things. If you can't stop thinking about your colleague, then you must make a choice. Either you go with your girlfriend,  or go with your colleague. Unless you're in an open relationship, and you're truthful with your girlfriend to allow you to 'test' your fantasies.

I tried to rationalize that it would be because of his physical tiredness. However, I do wonder is he genuinely tired ... he works long hours. Has he lost interest in me? Is he taking me for a fool?

I am insecure in our relationship, because he is the cute one.

Unsure

Well, Unsure, sense of insecurity will push you further into your non-descript little world. You may not be the cute one, but at least he comes home to you at the end of the day. 

He may be genuinely tired, physically. He may not be used to the hectic work schedule. He may just want to chill out after a hard day's work rather than jumping onto the sex the first thing he walks through the door. 

Give it some time. He may come around. Accompany him, rather than arouse him. Although sex does play a role in relationship, but it doesn't play the ultimate role. Often, just being physically around to comfort and console and communicate is way much better than sex. 

Does she like me or is she just flirting? 

She calls me every day and we see each about 3 times a week. What should I do? Discontinue the relationship?

ESchimidt

What do you hope out of this relationship? That she disentangles herself from the marriage, or you are ok with being the 'other woman' in the marriage? If you hope the latter, then there is no pressure there. After all we chose our own destination. You said you are attracted, but are you in love? Attraction can be a mere infatuation. Further, she might be getting what she's missing in the marriage from you. Therefore, both of you are feeling good about each other's attention. 

Undisclosed

Bite gently on the skin where you want to leave your mark. Seal the area with your lips. Suck on the skin. The duration of the suction depends very much on your mood at that spur of the moment.

My problem is that I never seemed to able to sustain a long term relationship. There is guy I met on the Internet, and we've communicated over a year. We've never met. But my friend did. He lives in London by the way. We'll say "I love you" from time to time, but I know it's difficult on my part to commit further, because of the distance.

My longest relationship lasted 3 months. I dumped him because he has a small penis. I dated several other guys, but we just didn't fall in love. What must I do?  

End

Well, Mr. End, you have all the qualities any guy would kill for, so fret not. So, you can't seemed to fall in love and remain in love. But you have certainly maintained quite a long 'relationship' with this London person. Why not give it a shot? Long distance relationship do (though not always) work. It boils down to TRUST. 

You dumped your ex because he is genitally-challenged? That was not a valid reason to do so! If one of your main reasons is having all-things (shown or hidden) perfect in your Mr. Right, then I have to tell you, honey that there's no perfection in this world.

But rest assured, there's someone out there for everyone. Wait a while. He'll fall on your lap to your surprise.

Lilo

The good 'ol saying goes -- what goes around, comes around. I sense some regrets, eh? Well, go back to her then. Re-kindle that fire. Mend her broken heart if she is the one you really, really want. But do not break her heart the second time, otherwise you are going to truly sorry. 

Sometimes I doubt I should even label myself as lesbian. I never fancy women, the reason I got with my girlfriend is just we are about the same age and we get along so well. My girlfriend has been a lesbian for her whole life, she has girlfriends before me and is somewhat active in a small lesbian group. When we first met, my girlfriend showed interest in me. I, in return, liked her a lot. She kissed me on our first date, and the next thing I know we are living together.

Jackie

Oh, don't worry too much about the bedroom activities, dear Jackie. Many women I know don't depend on sex to spice up things up. Though sex does help in relationships. However, you seem like you are good at whatever you are doing now to your girlfriend for both of you to be together for this long. Hmmm ... 

Love grows. So you may not fancy other women, but you definitely treasure her. Probably she makes you laugh till your tummy splits. Probably she drives you crazy with her stares. Probably she melts you with her kisses. 

Sex or not, the bottom line, do you love her? If the answer is yes, then work around it. I'd say there's more to sex in a relationship. Often communication, verbal, physical and what-have-you, plays vital role. I'm pretty sure you can tell her your heart's content about your obligatory role in your partnership. You'd be surprised how much truth can set you free.

Outed

You have 2 choices: one, let him be (cause after a while people will get tired of old news, and crave new ones); two, confront him about how low you think he was to out you.

Speechless

Do the subtle thing, drop overt hints, be extremely observant to her likes and dislikes. Often, actions speak louder than word. If you truly care, you'll have all the patience in the world to wait for her to realize that you are the one. Otherwise, honey, move on ... I'm sure there're girls out there who'd appreciate you. 

Turning

First of all, Turning, you have to ask yourself whether you are on the look out for men just for sex or more than that? We are lustful animals, one way or another. Hence, your wanting to just have man-to-man sex does not justify your turning gay. Ask yourself: Is it just the sex? Can you live with the potential family & social pressures that so often haunt People Like Us? Can you actually love the same sex?

I have been going out with my partner for almost a year. We are a great couple. My problem is that she gets really violent in bed. I am physically hurt during foreplay. She's much bigger than me. There are times where I could hardly walk after what she has done to me. She is good to me, but in bed she is so mean! I just don't want to leave her because of that. What can I do? Please help.

Tormented

Foreplay or not, if you didn't think pleasure of it, then you're definitely tormented. Threaten to leave if she doesn't stop. If she loves you enough, she'll change. Tell trusted friends about your situation, they'll help you get some sense into your love beast. Teach her to treat you with gentleness. If all else fail, honey, get out before you lose a limb or two.